It may be a creeping feeling—a pang of existential dread in the night. Everyone, at some point, senses their career is simply not going the way it should. Whether you feel it now or have confronted the monster under the bed before, this is your sign to take a knee and listen to coach. Your career is, in fact, going quite well.
People are often anxious about the state of their career based on two conflicts:
First, self-competition can be healthy. Critiquing where you are today versus yesterday, keeping eyes on the long-term prize, and driving toward goals? That’s a great way to travel. There isn’t just one pathway, however. It can be easy to lose perspective on that if you have already built a vision around it.
If things are stalling or you’re impatient with career progress, I would encourage you first to take a step back. Envision yourself 5 to 10 years ago. How much more do you know now? What things have you mastered? What experience do you now have, and what things did you wish for then that you’ve now ticked the box on?
I’m never an advocate of resting on your laurels, but it is important you not fall prey to career dysmorphia. Just because things aren’t exactly as you envisioned at this moment doesn’t mean your career isn’t going really well. You’ve come far. Now think of others 5 to 10 years behind you striving to do exactly what you’re doing now. It’s not only possible but probable that your career has already shaped someone else’s aspirations, however hard you may be on yourself.
As to the second conflict: Let’s have a quick and dirty talk about “resumé math”—the arguably masochistic exercise of looking at others’ career profiles and doing “math” about where you are in comparison. Be honest. You’ve done it before. At no time in history have we had such robust information about other people’s careers, their whereabouts, the fancy things they’re allegedly doing, and the people they’re with.
Candidly, seeing others’ experiences can be inspirational: “Wow, that’s so interesting, I wonder how I might get more involved in that?” or “Good for her! What an amazing effort!” are healthy reactions to others’ updates. But it is axiomatic that as free-thinking, independent adults, we should remember that direct comparison to others is almost never actually accurate for the sake of measuring our own progress. Teddy Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Every person’s career is different, with disparate backgrounds, opportunities, challenges, and, most of all, timing. Never let career math steal your joy or cloud your perspective on where you are or where you’re going long-term.
Many will tell you a career is an endurance race, not a sprint. Good metaphor. But I take issue with it being a “race” at all. Personally, I think of a career—and a life—in seasons.
Sometimes, you’re in a season when the workplace is full-on hectic, not a moment to spare, turning projects, stacking bills. Or maybe you’re in a season of comfort—you’re great at your role, feel job satisfaction, and find time for things you love outside the office. Other times, you may find yourself in a season that feels like a lull, or maybe you are in a transition between workplaces, looking for your next big project, or patiently building something from scratch. Perhaps you’ve decided, for now, that the office isn’t for you, and you are transferring restorative energy into pursuits at home.
My point: Every season of your career is different. Every season is an opportunity. And every season has a disquieting yet infinitely promising character of impermanence. There’s always another one down the road.
Until 2021, I had embraced long, beautiful seasons of workplace years during which I grinded, got after it, and relentlessly performed. Come 2022, I was determined to take a short season outside the office. So, my husband and I saved to travel overseas all year with our young children. I promised myself (and them) I would set aside “work” for the duration of the journey.
Was it difficult to resist the siren calls of the pursuits I had become accustomed to? Yes. It was, at times, excruciating, even anxiety-inducing. But I forged new outlets. Living in Budapest, I devoted four days a week to learning Hungarian and volunteered at a legal aid clinic for Ukrainian refugees during the brutal first phase of the war. In Thailand, I did hours of grueling Thai boxing training all week, then learned to clumsily gut and scale freshly caught fish that we fried and ate all weekend at a beach overlooking the Andaman Sea. I read more than 30 books on subjects I had long wanted to learn about and went to local sports matches wherever we were—absorbing as a fan, for once. In short, I was determined to embrace the season because it would become a profound part of who I am and who I would continue to become in my career.
Whether you make the current season a great part of your career is up to you.
Busy? I invite you to hold it close, build experience and relationships, and enjoy the grind.
In a lull? See it as an opportunity to learn subjects you’ve always wanted to know about. Find joy in reconnecting with your network. Master something. And like a skipper, take a breath to navigate while the water is glassy.
Author Cheryl Strayed eloquently wrote, “Put yourself in the way of beauty.” Even if you don’t love the season you’re in, I promise that if you put yourself in the way of the opportunities it affords you, it will become a beloved part of your career.
Looking back, had I not energetically seized so many seasons with my coworkers, building events for devoted fans, or had I only half-heartedly given myself to the business of moving our sports leagues forward in the most challenging times, I would have missed it—the pride in accomplishments, lessons in failures, people who made the days worthwhile.
Conversely, had I not fully embraced our year overseas, instead giving into the midyear calls to return to an office and breaking my pledge to make 2022 sacred, put simply, I would have missed the season. The euphoric look on my kids’ faces when they first ate the same Hungarian pastries I grew up eating during summers in Budapest. Canopies of undulating blue and gold flags above our heads as we walked through mass protests in Vienna’s Heldenplatz square while a violinist busked for Ukraine aid among the crowd. Time spent in books about the intricacies of the European football business. Feelings of existential insignificance looking up at the Annapurna mountain range imposing itself on a crystalline Nepalese horizon. And as it happened, had I not stubbornly stuck to my guns, grabbing time with both hands, I might not have been there with Dad in the final weeks, days, and minutes leading up to his unexpected passing.
I just would have missed it all, and then I would have been unable to joyfully close these chapters and dive into the exhilarating season that came next.
So, live fully in the possibilities of this career moment. Use it to move your working life forward, even incrementally. Don’t squander what could be a beautiful season with your head down, aggressively preparing and wishing in earnest for a different one. And take it from coach: As long as you’re thoughtfully using the opportunities you’re being given, don’t panic because your career is truly, legitimately, and authentically going great.
This article was originally published under the title “Don’t Panic: Your career is going great.” in the December 2024-January 2025 issue of the ABA Journal.
Survival Guide, Esq., offers advice for early-career lawyers through a partnership between the ABA Journal and the ABA Young Lawyers Division. The authors of the column welcome any of your questions. You can send them to [email protected].
