Despite achieving all the milestones I wanted for my legal career—clerking, making partner, landing a dream in-house job—these successes came with difficulties that compounded over time. Although I did not know it in the moment, the many years of working long hours with conflict-rich challenges and under fast-paced deadlines led to a significant amount of stress, harm to my health, and impact on my family. I’ve also seen it with my peers; in their 40s or 50s, many have suffered from severe health issues, including heart disease, stroke, early-onset diabetes, and addiction. Ultimately, I have seen it all affect workplace relationships and the legal work itself.
These experiences led me to stop practicing law and instead start working to make positive changes for legal professionals. Now I work with attorneys, employers, and bar associations to offer new ways to approach their legal practice. And because my meditation practice played the most significant role in helping me counter the challenges of my practice, I share the following three pieces of advice that I wish I had known as a young lawyer.
Don’t Normalize Fight or Flight
We enter into the fight-or-flight response all too often these days—in response to a startling e-mail from a partner, an angry client message, or even the possibility of missing a deadline. In a “real” life-threatening event, a fight-or-flight response can save you. With no “real” threat to life, however, fight or flight should not be the default mode at work. The repeated stress and distress negatively impact your heart and body.
Through regular meditation, I trained to let up on the pedal. Meditation helped me de-couple the challenging circumstances from the reactive feelings that come up. I realized I don’t always have to respond through fight or flight. With ongoing practice, these stress hormones don’t seem to affect my system as they once did. And even if I get stressed, the reactivity doesn’t last as long. Before, a difficult conversation with a boss or a disappointing outcome in a case could bother me for hours, days, or weeks. After investing in meditation, although the initial peak may be similar, the long tail of reactivity is gone. Angry thoughts evaporate, and my attention moves to something more positive. All in all, meditation has reprogrammed my nervous system, allowing me to work outside of fight or flight and “wisely respond”—rather than “react”—to challenges.