Having a child is often described as bringing an angel into the world and a gift of happiness that can fill one’s life with joy. However, given the nature of the profession, deciding whether to have a child can be challenging and deeply personal for many lawyers. The decision is not just about welcoming a new life into a family but also about managing the professional and personal trade-offs that come with it.
This decision especially weighs heavily on female lawyers who will have to experience pregnancy while working and on any young lawyer who wishes to start a family. The question of whether to start a family early in a legal career is filled with complexities. The legal profession is demanding, and the early years are crucial for building reputation, experience, and establishment. Adding a child to this can disrupt the delicate work-life balance that young lawyers work so hard to maintain.
If you decide to have a baby, there will be inevitable breaks from work for medical appointments, adoption meetings, leave, and the physical demands of pregnancy itself. Balancing this alongside tight work deadlines, client meetings, and urgent client matters can be extremely challenging, as unexpected health complications might force last-minute changes to even the best-laid plans.
Once the news of a pregnancy becomes public within the firm, it often sparks a range of reactions from colleagues and managers. Though most coworkers will offer their congratulations, the reality is that most coworkers are aware that the pregnancy and birth of the child may cause a shift in added workload for them.
For employers, the situation can be even more delicate. The firm must still cover your salary during leave and the additional costs of hiring a temporary replacement, if needed. This financial strain can be challenging, particularly when viewed through the lens of gender dynamics. Employers may feel that having a female attorney, whose maternity leave is inevitable, versus a male attorney, whose paternity leave (if available) is optional, would not have created such a situation, further exacerbating underlying gender bias in the workplace.
More concerning is the possibility that the firm may question your long-term commitment to your legal career. These questions are particularly true for women. Will you return after maternity leave? Can you meet your billable hour targets while caring for a newborn? Will your focus shift from climbing the legal career ladder to raising your child? These doubts can create tensions between you as a junior lawyer and your employer, whether stated openly or not.
Returning to work after leave is another hurdle. Pregnancy and childbirth can take a physical and emotional toll, as can the adoption process, and it may take time to adjust back to the high-pressure environment of a law firm. However, the legal world moves fast, and after returning to work, you may find that things have changed.
The lateral attorney hired during your absence may now be deeply integrated into the team, filling the gap you left behind and making it feel like you are starting from scratch and competing for attention and assignments in a team that has moved on without you. Peers may have continued to progress in their careers, gaining promotions or leadership roles while you were away. You may be forced to leave work early to pick up your child from daycare, but your colleagues may be billing extra hours and getting recognition for it. Although having a child is a blessing, some may view parental responsibilities as a hindrance to career advancement.
For this reason, it is crucial to pair with experienced lawyers who have successfully managed their careers and parenthood for support when considering starting or expanding a family. Such mentorship can offer guidance on handling work-life balance and navigating career progression as a working parent.
To manage work and parenthood, having a support system, such as a family member, friend, or on-call nanny, is helpful, especially during last-minute work demands. Additionally, do not be afraid to travel with your baby for work events; many colleagues may even enjoy spending time with your child. Creating special memories by extending trips for fun activities with your baby can add balance.
While the law prohibits workplace discrimination, particularly against mothers, enforcement remains a significant challenge. Historically, some employers have hesitated to hire individuals they perceived as having divided loyalties between their career and family. However, today, choosing not to hire a qualified candidate solely due to their parental status violates federal employment discrimination laws.
Moreover, in the United States, there is no federal law requiring companies to provide paid parental leave, and employers decide whether to offer it. However, extending this leave to all genders may help mitigate any workplace biases related to gender and sexual orientation.
Ultimately, deciding whether to have a child is deeply personal and depends on the individual’s circumstances. While it is possible to balance parenthood and a demanding legal career, it comes with unique challenges, especially in a profession where time is treasure and client demands are unrelenting.
Balancing work and family life is not easy, but with the right support, you can do it. With rational policies and supportive systems in the workplace, such as flexible work arrangements and mentorship programs, firms can foster inclusive and flexible work environments that support all working parents regardless of age or legal experience. These inclusive measures can empower lawyers to feel safe in making decisions to pursue both their professional and personal goals without fear of being left behind.
Carry yourself confidently as both a great attorney and a great parent without feeling the need to hide either role for success. Remember that you are still the same accomplished attorney as before, but now with an even greater purpose in your life. In navigating the challenges of balancing work and family, one interviewee shared an insightful reflection: “Celebrate the fact that you have this blessing who is now in your life, and remember that there are thousands of jobs out there and only your baby who needs you.” – A mother.
