Transitioning to Private Practice
Four years after graduating from law school, switching to a career in litigation seemed intimidating. I didn’t know if I wanted to start over. Our governor was re-elected for his second term, and I had job security for the next four years. I decided to leverage my connections and interview for litigation positions anyway. Through those interviews, I realized that interviewers doubted my ability to commit to the demands of litigation after working a nontraditional, legal nine-to-five. Three months into my new associate attorney position—I too doubted my ability.
Everything I wrote for the partners came back severely redlined. At 9:00 p.m. on a Friday, I found myself trying to perfect an assignment that was due the next week, my eyes bloodshot from staring at my computer. I was continually striving for perfection and criticizing myself for not keeping pace with the partners. I was in a perpetual state of anxiety, whether I was sending a one-sentence email or drafting a settlement letter.
The Power of Vulnerability
I could not have stumbled upon Dr. Brené Brown’s TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” at a more appropriate time. Her message resonated with me and encouraged me to lean into the discomfort that I had been feeling. Her talk made me realize I needed to stop telling myself that I was not smart enough for this new endeavor. She explained that being vulnerable meant allowing yourself to be seen and to be okay being uncomfortable—this is necessary for growth. She also recommended practicing gratitude in those moments of terror. She told me to be kinder and gentler to myself and to believe that I am enough.
You Only Do Something for the First Time Once
I learned that it is necessary to be vulnerable when transitioning into a new career. It is necessary to share incomplete thoughts with the partner to make sure that you are on the right track. It is necessary to review your redline draft to learn and grow, without criticizing and belittling yourself. It is okay to hear that you must tighten up your writing after not writing for two years. It is okay to need a Lexis tutorial because you forgot how to locate certain materials. It is okay for your voice to quiver at an arbitration hearing when you ask an expert witness to redirect questions for the first time. Everything that you are experiencing is normal because you are learning. Be grateful that you have this opportunity to learn and remember that you only do something for the first time once.