Practice the Pause
Mindfulness is the ability to add a moment of pause between the stimulus and your habitual reaction. When it comes to smartphones, we often grab them out of habit without pausing to explore why. Often, we reach for the smartphone because of boredom, loneliness, wanting to escape from whatever is happening, or simply out of habit.
The next time you catch yourself reaching for your phone, ask yourself why. Is there a legitimate reason for checking your phone? Or is it simply an old habitual behavior?
When is the last time you intentionally “unplugged” from your digital device? I’ve found that carving out regularly scheduled times where I allow myself to unplug helps me better connect with my family and myself.
There are many pockets of time where you can institute “unplugged” time. Some people observe the “digital sabbath,” turning off the phone and laptop on Saturday evening and not turning them on again until Sunday evening, while others practice no screen time during meals.
If you’re like most lawyers and always eat lunch at your desk, looking at a screen, take yourself out to lunch once a week where you don’t look at your smartphone.
New Morning Routine
The other pocket of time where you may consider unplugging is in the morning, immediately after you wake up. Chances are, you check your email first thing in the morning. While there may be times when this is necessary, it’s not a habit that is conducive to reducing stress.
By checking your email first thing, you allow other people to set the agenda for the day—letting them dictate what’s important. Instead of email, fill the first part of your day with activities to create calm.
This need not take long. You can spend the first five minutes of your day doing meditation, keeping a gratitude journal, doing yoga, or whatever helps you to feel more grounded.
My husband and I have a no-iPhone-in-the-bedroom rule. This creates a bit of space every evening to catch up, talk about our day, or just read a novel.
Whatever rule you institute, it’s essential to be flexible. There have been times where my husband and I have fallen out of the habit of not using the iPhone in the bedroom—sometimes there are important client matters that need attending to or other life events. However, when the client matter settles, or the family emergency passes, when life returns to normal, we go back to the rule.
Studies show that we’re much more likely to be distracted by the digital device if it’s close by, so consider some distance. Instead of walking around the house with it or having it in your pocket, leave it plugged in on the kitchen counter.
Notice How It Feels
Periodically ask yourself: “Do I have a healthy relationship with digital technology?” I notice that when I’m glued to that tiny screen too long, I feel sort of hungover. There’s just a sense like I’ve consumed too much Facebook or been on Twitter entirely too long.
Let your senses guide you. Pay attention. Spending too much time looking at screens likely means you’re not getting much exercise or spending time outdoors. Strive to cultivate a balance that feels good to you.
Take some time to reflect and make small changes in your life that can have a big impact. I invite you to start by making small changes and committing to doing it over a sustained period.