I Wish I’d Used My Head Back Then

(To the tune of I Wish I Were in Love Again by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart, 1999 New York Cast Recording; or Ella Fitzgerald.)

The perfect scheme
A tax-free dream
An audit notice and you want to scream
Why didn’t I keep my taxes clean?
I wish I’d used my head back then.

With him I ran
The Shelter Man
Into the fire from the frying pan—
Bad news coming from the Revenue Man.
I wish I’d used my head back then.

More bad news.
Tax Court Blues.
Tails you lose
I was really a dummkopf

When it’s too good
To be true, would
I’d asked more questions like I know you should
I’ve learned my lesson
And I wish I’d used my head back then.