An Unexpected Lesson in Gratitude

I have often written about the importance of giving thanks.

But three weeks in September gave me a “Ph.D. in gratitude,” in unlikely circumstances.

If you are ready to click on the next article rather than read yet another COVID article, keep reading – this isn’t about the disease. 

Instead, I was inspired to write about how I chose my mental approach to becoming infected and reinfected a week later.

Not only did I catch my first case of COVID-19, but I also quickly developed “rebound COVID.”  

Ironically, a “regular” allergy-driven fall upper respiratory infection the following week left me feeling the worst of the three illnesses.

It all began when I stayed home on a Wednesday in late August to help a family member with our first case of COVID-19.

A telemedicine doctor who saw us on the same Facetime screen admonished us to isolate and distance ourselves from others in our home, which we did scrupulously.

Nonetheless, by mid-day Monday, I felt as tired as I had ever felt.

I retired early, hoping that I would feel better with a good night’s rest.

Sure enough, I did feel better on Tuesday morning – but my rapid test still lit up.

I remained home the full week and returned to work feeling better.

At the end of the week, I tested as a precaution before a regular volunteer event at a local nursing home.

To my shock, I was positive again.

I hadn’t even planned to retest. 

I never expected that I would not get a negative result. I had already been back to work for a week.

I tested only to satisfy the home’s requirements.

By coincidence, I had a long-scheduled checkup with my physician that day.

I was glad that he agreed to see me despite the positive test. As he requested, I wore an N-95.

He explained that I had developed “rebound COVID.”

At this point, you may be wondering what my unfortunate medical history has to do with gratitude.

As I was resting on the Tuesday morning of my original positive test, I meditated on how to react to these events.

At first, I felt sorry for myself. 

How could this have happened?

I am fully vaccinated, with multiple boosters,

I had spent four years of diligent masking and distancing (because of an existing medical condition) long after others had stopped doing so.

But just as I had resolved to maintain a positive attitude after open-heart surgery, I quickly chose not to blame anyone for my infection – neither my infected family member nor a slightly less than 100% effective COVID-19 vaccine.

Instead, as I had done after my surgery, I relied on my Jesuit education for insight through discernment. That approach led me to find Ignatian “consolation,” the strength to turn away from the temptation of blaming anyone for my challenges.

So fortified mentally, I instead chose to focus on healing - beginning with lots of sleep.

(Thanks to the COVID, that was an easy win.)

But while drifting in and out of sleep, my mind turned to my recent work with a therapist on mindfulness and meditation.

I wanted to restore not only my physical health but also my mental health and wellness.

In fact, I quickly and easily made a long mental list of the many reasons I had to be thankful, notwithstanding how miserable my body felt that first day.

• Both my relative and I had rapid tests available to quickly check our condition.

I had previously learned the importance of having tests on hand after an outbreak of COVID-19 at a college reunion in 2022 (We Gotta Get Out of This Place: Living Without Fear.)

• Both of us were able to schedule telemedicine appointments without delay. We each got “same day” confirmation of our diagnoses without leaving our home. 

(Neither of us felt up to driving from the garage to our driveway, much less to a doctor’s office.)  

My 7:30 am positive test led to an 11:30 am telemedicine appointment.

• We knew to ask our doctors about a therapeutic prescription to ease the symptoms of COVID-19, which must be taken shortly after the onset of symptoms. 

Not only were we both able to start on it the same day, but I found a patient support card from the medicine manufacturer that let us both get it at no cost.

• Because we both started it immediately, we hope we will be less likely to develop the challenging “long COVID” illness. 
• When I asked my doctor how we had both become infected, despite full vaccination and boosters, he immediately told me that our shots had reduced our risk of long-term COVID-19 to less than 1%.
• Long before my infection, I had begun working with an excellent therapist on mindfulness and meditation to help manage my stress.

Without that sustained work and guidance, I don’t think I would have had the perspective after my COVID diagnosis to stop, breathe, and acknowledge all of these helpful perspectives “in the moment.”

With that mental reinforcement, I immediately chose to adopt a positive, forward-looking mental attitude. I think my similar choice after my heart surgery played a major role in my cardiac rehabilitation.

So, am I glad that I caught COVID-19?

Of course not.

It is a deadly, unpredictable disease that has killed persons I knew – including a family member.

But I am thankful that, once infected, I chose to find healing – and to say, “Good riddance, COVID!”