Let's Talk About Aging Parents

I urge you to read Let’s Talk About Aging Parents if you work with older clients, have aging family members, or are hoping to get older yourself. In 27 concise chapters, Laura Tamblyn Watts explores social, legal, and healthcare challenges through the eyes and ears of family and loved ones of adults as they age. The text offers an understanding of the issues and concerns of loved ones and suggestions of how to open dialog about the issues to address concerns and needs. I wish I had read this book when I started practicing elder law 25 years ago. I wish I had read this book when my grandparents were living through these issues 50 years ago.

The text is organized into four sections. The first part talks about age-friendly housing. This covers how to make changes to make a home safer or more accessible, encouraging in-home help when it is time to move to an age-friendly living space, the challenge of downsizing, and the transition to inpatient long-term care. The second part covers the basics of mental capacity, powers of attorney, healthcare decision-making, and safety. The text is written for a diverse audience. Readers are advised to seek local advice on legal and benefits issues. This is a brilliant way to cover these issues; the law and availability of programs and services vary so widely not just from country to country but from state to state and, on some issues, from city to city. The third part discusses loss, grief, divorce in later life, and remarriage in later life. These are complex issues that families often find very difficult to talk through. The fourth section talks about the most common health conditions and changes in bodily function that are experienced by adults as we age. After a thoughtful layman's explanation of the condition, the author discusses treatment and accommodations and offers ideas on how to have discussions on the most delicate of personal health matters.  

The book is a guide to understanding human issues and is filled with suggestions for opening communication between older adults and family or friends. The goal of the book is to empower advocates, family and friends to understand the issues, openly discuss options, and provide help in ways that promote the dignity and autonomy of the older adult. The book does not offer legal advice or a guide to programs and services.

For me, the greatest value in the book is the discussion of how to discuss the issues. Communication skills can make the difference between helping and frustrating. If I were teaching an elder law course, this book would be required to read in the client counseling segment. I will suggest this book to friends and family who are struggling to help loved ones with these and other issues.

Laura Tamblyn Watts is the founder and CEO of CanAge, a law professor, and an advocate for aging and caregivers based in Toronto, Canada. She is a dynamic speaker, advocate, and author. The book is published by The Experiment, LLC, in New York, NY, and is available in print and e-book from your local bookseller.