Living Multigenerational in the 21st Century

Since the start of the pandemic, their favorite daughter has worked remotely. This allows my wife to work from home, so not only does she get to see her parents daily; it is often that she sees them several times a day.

My father-in-law is a retired professor whose specialty was English as a second language. He suffers from multiple health issues and his primary caretaker is my mother-in-law.

As a result, my wife and I have taken over certain household chores. For example, we get a weekly meal service that provides already-made dinners (i.e., entrees, vegetables, and rice) that just need to be reheated. In selecting the menus for the week, the biggest challenge I have is finding items that are robust enough for my wife and yet acceptable to 80-year-old palates. But I must be doing it right because I keep getting gold stars.

Most nights, we eat dinner with my in-laws. While we eat, we listen to satellite radio. My father-in-law is responsible for selecting the music. Sometimes it is country music and my wife and her parents reminisce about living in the semi-rural Sacramento River Valley. Other times, it is music from the 1940s and my in-laws fondly remember their youth. And sometimes it is pop music from the 1970s—a familiar song from a one-hit wonder that none of us can remember. Since I am the only one not far-sighted in the group, I usually am the one who can read the artist’s name on the small-screen radio transmitter. And for that feat, I get another gold star.

Few of the items of furniture that I had in my house in West Los Angeles made the transition to my wife’s grandparents’ home. The items that were relocated are seamlessly incorporated into my in-laws’ house. Still, I occasionally will see a bureau and remember—oh, that used to be in my bedroom in the old house…or at least I think so.

One item of furniture that definitely made the move was my 45-inch HD flat-screen television. It is now in the living room and regularly used by my in-laws. I am a bit obsessive about streaming TV, and I subscribe to multiple services. In fact, I have streaming-service FOMO. And as a result of subscribing to as many services as I can find, I usually take the least expensive subscription, which often includes advertising. Interestingly, my octogenarian in-laws refuse to watch any paid streaming service that shows ads. After a lifetime of watching television with commercials, they have had enough of them.

My mother-in-law is surprisingly tech savvy for someone in her mid-80s. She has no problem with group texting or doing Zoom meetings. She is very comfortable interacting with “Alexa” and “Siri.” However, when the electronics flummox her, she will ask me for help. And usually the problems are so esoteric, I have to secretly call my thirty-something son—who invariably has the answer. I then pass the information on to my mother-in-law and—you guessed it—I get another gold star.