Words from the Wise: 20 Tips for Young Lawyers from Established Women Attorneys

There are many ways young lawyers can develop and hone their legal knowledge and skills, but some of the most impactful lessons come simply with age and experience. That certainly has been true for me. I look back on my 21 years of legal practice, and when I ask myself if there is any particular moment or event that stands out to me as having helped shape me into the confident attorney I am today—secure in my abilities, strengths, and weaknesses, and not afraid to speak up in a boardroom or provide off-the-cuff advice—my mind jumps to an afternoon about nine years ago, when I was sitting in the back row of a very small courtroom of a state court, waiting for my case to be called.

I had been a litigation partner in a large law firm for almost three years by then, but I still was relatively new to handling cases and courtroom appearances on my own, given the complex nature of the legal matters on which I worked during my associate years. I was sitting in that courtroom, reading over my prep materials for the umpteenth time, determined to appear as poised and perfect as possible; hoping to high heaven my nervousness wouldn’t show, I wouldn’t break out in hives, and the court would not ask me a question I could not answer. I looked up to see an older, white-haired male attorney approach the lectern to present his argument in a case before mine. Based on what I had observed before court got under way, he appeared to be a regular in that courtroom, and I estimated his age to be mid-50s to mid-60s. He started his argument with all the usual formalities and withstood several tough questions from the bench, but what struck me most was not his performance, but the fact that the entire time he stood at that lectern speaking to the court, he had his right foot hooked over the back of his left foot, jiggling away with nerves. The sight of that jiggling foot was a watershed moment for me: when it really hit me that everyone is human, no matter their façade, and I did not have to put on a perfect show in order to have a winning argument.

I think back on that epiphany when I mentor young attorneys, and I offer the following advice: It’s OK to be human (i.e., imperfect and fallible); everyone else is too. That includes judges, general counsel, company presidents, senior partners, and anyone else who may intimidate you. You’re going to make mistakes, and there will be plenty of times you will not know the answer to a question. It happens to everyone, no matter how skilled or experienced. Accept that and don’t beat yourself up over it. Experience has taught me that very few mistakes are too big to overcome (even if it may not feel that way in the moment). And there is absolutely no shame in saying: “I don’t know, but let me look into that for you.”

I asked a group of other established women attorneys to add to the above advice based on their own varied experiences—what key lessons would they go back and tell their young-attorney selves if they could? The 20 respondents included multiple in-house attorneys (including general counsel); litigation partners in small, midsize, and big law firms; a state court judge; a government attorney; a state solicitor general; a solo attorney practitioner; and a retired attorney turned consultant. Their combined years of legal practice total more than 450, ranging in individual length from 9.5 to 42 years. Here are their collected words of wisdom:

1. Professional (and personal) success is all about relationships, so cultivate them! That other associate in your first-year class may end up as the general counsel of a Fortune 500 company and your biggest client, or may write you a check when you run for public office. You never know when you may have to activate your network, so make sure you have one. That also means being there for others when they need you, since relationships are a two-way street.
2. Always run toward the new and slightly scary role or assignment that takes you outside your comfort zone. I made that choice as often as I could throughout my career. It was in those situations that I grew the most, learned the most about myself, and gained confidence.
3. If I had to go back in time, I’d be less concerned that I knew, or was on, the “right path” for my career immediately. I would have focused more on what I liked doing and what type of work felt meaningful, as opposed to what I was supposed to do. Legal careers are not often linear, and the most exciting opportunities were those that were unexpected and not planned for. It is important to learn to do the work, as best as possible, without focusing on the next promotion or career move. Those things come, in time, and are always born out of hard work and being open to opportunities as they come along, even if initially they seem unconventional.
4. One lesson I’ve learned is the importance of developing myself as a lawyer, separate from my employer. Very few lawyers stay with the same employer their whole career, and it is not realistic to expect your employer to facilitate every bit of education, skills training, and networking that you need. Over time, I learned to ensure that I was driving my own professional development, from reading about the law, attending continuing legal education, and honing my communication and organizational skills. At times, that required spending my own time and money to attend conferences, volunteer on projects, and build my professional network. But it is precisely what gave me the skill set and connections to make moves throughout my career. . . . Also, invite honest, constructive feedback from others. Make clear that they have permission to be candid, or others may be unlikely to share constructive ideas that could help you continue to evolve as a lawyer and a leader.
5. Find your passion in your work. Choose an area of litigation you really enjoy and own it so that you can become a leader in that area. This is easier said than done, but you will be doing this a long time and will appreciate it more if you like the work.
6. If something you’re doing isn’t coming together no matter how hard you try, step back and reconsider whether you should be doing it. . . . Perfection can be your enemy—set a firm deadline to stop work on a brief or pleading, and be disciplined. Always include enough time to set the work aside to review with fresh eyes. . . . Some clients and other attorneys are not happy unless everyone is unhappy. Don’t try to convince them otherwise, and don’t let them bring you down.
7. Trust your clients and fellow lawyers, but independently verify the information they provide through reviewing documents or conducting your own interviews.
8. As a trial lawyer, your reputation is everything. Always be clear in your communication and be known as the lawyer trusted by judges and other lawyers to tell them the truth. In front of a jury, the first liar always loses.
9. Sit in motions court for a half day and watch others. Out of every 10 lawyers, you’ll see 1 or 2 really good ones from whom you can learn (and realize you are already better than the other 8 or 9). Confidence matters as much as substance! . . . Don’t wait to get into the courtroom! The longer you go without forcing yourself to do it, the scarier it will be when you do it. Stick your chin out. You’ll get smacked a few times, but you’ll learn lessons you will never forget!
10. Get involved early and start building your network. I waited until year 15 or so to become really involved in bar association activities, but when my law firm declared bankruptcy and I was job hunting unexpectedly, and another time when my law firm elected to discontinue my practice area, my friends and colleagues from my bar activities stepped up, offered to help and open offices/positions, and made life so much easier.
11. Have patience. Especially in a large law firm, it’s critical to view what we do as a profession and not just a job. That means having the patience to understand that you can’t know everything from day one and you can’t ever be 100 percent perfect. Rather, you have to give yourself the time and the space to learn. You also have to recognize that the learning never ends.
12. Trust in yourself and don’t be afraid to take risks along the way. That might mean volunteering for a high-profile project, learning a new area of law, or changing career direction if you aren’t happy with your first choice. Find female mentors along the way to provide valuable insight and guidance, and mentor others when the time is right.
13. Collect mentors like Professor Slughorn [in Harry Potter] collected famous students! Reach out, schedule coffee or lunch, and create those relationships. You will get good assignments, good advice, and more. . . . Understand that there is bias against you. Many clients still choose to have men lead their biggest litigated cases. Don’t take it personally. But do try and work somewhere where your talents are valued and rewarded.
14. Your career path does not always have to be an upward trajectory. Sometimes there are plateaus. Be ready to pivot and learn something new. . . . Find mentors, but also find friends. Work friendships are some of my most meaningful friendships.
15. It is important to make and keep strong, supportive relationships at every stage in your career. You never know where life will take you, or where you will choose to go, and some of the most satisfying times are when you can help others or others can help you achieve dreams—yours or theirs.
16. Don’t let other people define your role or tell you that you aren’t good enough based on your experience or where you went to school. . . . [When working as an in-house attorney with business clients,] make people forget you are the attorney in the room. Work with others as a teammate, not as the isolated attorney.
17. It’s never too early to self-advocate and take control of your career. Realize that some jobs/roles are stepping stones [on a sometimes winding path toward your goal].
18. I’m a firm believer in the concept that a legal profession—or any profession—is a marathon, and not a sprint. As a result, I’ve gotten much better over time at treating my perceived problems as small hiccups, which is critical to long-term success (and avoiding burnout). Another important aspect of that advice is to make time to enjoy the wins. When we win a trial or settle a case favorably, or achieve a professional milestone, I try to step back and appreciate it, and I try to surround myself with other attorneys who do (and remind me to do!) all of the above.
19. Once you are in practice, leave behind your ideas from school, where you were expected to be top of your class and progress steadily from one grade to the next. Practice doesn’t work like that. You can find success through many different definitions and many different paths. Don’t measure your success by comparison with others or looking to where you “rank.” Pursue whatever helps you learn at a pace that works for you and whatever else is going on in your life.
20. Especially when starting out, be as flexible as you can be. Aim not to have one lane. The more diverse experience you can get early on, the sooner you’ll be able to figure out where your strengths are, what you enjoy, and the sweet spots where the two overlap. . . . Be a problem solver. Law school trains us to spot issues, but success in practice means finding ways to solve them, too. Even if a potential solution you propose isn’t workable, showing up with a problem-solving, forward-looking mindset is invaluable to your colleagues and clients. . . . Get enough sleep! Maintain and increase your resilience by allowing yourself real recovery (the same goes for taking off time from work).

My thanks to these wonderful, wise women.