A Senior Lawyer’s Perspective: Older and Wiser?
As of this year, I ( Monica Khetarpal) have practiced law for 20 years. I don’t feel old enough to say “back in my day . . . ,” but the truth is that 20 years ago, things were different. When I was interviewing for jobs, I never asked about the maternity leave policy even though that was critically important to me at the time. I did not talk about politics at work unless I was sure that the person I was speaking to was aligned with my views. I did not speak up when I had to leave at 5 p.m. for a family event, even when there was no reason I should not leave. I kept my head down and did what I had to do to succeed. And success meant not just billing hours, making partner, and building a book of business. Success meant building a reputation as a hard-working, driven, career-oriented attorney.
Twenty years later, I realize that attitude came with a lot of unnecessary stress and, frankly, that it was born out of a fair amount of imposter syndrome. I wasn’t yet confident in my own skills or my place within the profession, so I did everything I could to prove my commitment. Admittedly, some of that stress was self-imposed because I benefited from mentors and partners who valued me because of my skills and did not expect of me what I expected of myself. That said, it was a different time. For example, years ago, an attorney told me he limited the number of pictures of his family on his desk so as not to seem uncommitted to work. Another told me that she hid the fact that she was undergoing fertility treatments for fear of being placed on less substantive cases. Back then, partners would complain when associates were not in the office on weekends or even wonder out loud why reduced-schedule attorneys even bother practicing law.
Changes in Work-Life Balance
I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be like that. Over the years, I’ve learned to balance my work and personal life. I became partner while on a reduced schedule. I’ve first-chaired a jury trial and argued at the Seventh Circuit. I’ve also served on my sons’ parent-teacher organization board and chaperoned their field trips. I do not hesitate to tell my kids that I can’t be home early because I have to work, and I similarly do not hesitate to tell a client or even a judge that I cannot schedule a meeting or deadline on a day when I need to be with my kids. There is no longer a taboo against prioritizing home life. I’m especially gratified when I see this shift in more junior lawyers—the interview candidate who asks me about my firm’s parental leave, the associate who openly talks about wanting more kids. A lot has changed for the better, in no small part because more female attorneys and members of underrepresented groups are in positions of power, both inside legal organizations and as clients demanding their outside counsel reflect their own values.
That said, I think the values I grew up with as a “baby lawyer” (as my first mentor used to call me 20 years ago) should not be completely forgotten. Being a lawyer is different because the law is a profession, not just a job. Whether you work at a law firm, in judicial chambers, or for the government, a corporation, or a nonprofit, your clients rely on you to guide them through critical junctures in their personal and professional lives. This is not a job you can clock in and out of on a rigid schedule. It’s a job that comes with real responsibility. Work-life balance does not mean you can ignore a client’s emergency just because you are on vacation. It does not mean that you can take weekends off if there is a deadline. Work-life balance is measured in the long run, not in the day-to-day. On balance, are you happy with the amount of real, mindful attention you can pay to your personal and professional lives? If so, you’ve achieved that elusive balance, even if you sometimes work through a weekend, pull an all-nighter, or bill 200-plus hours in a month.
If I could advise junior attorneys on how to really thrive in this profession, I’d focus on perspective.
First, treat your career as a priority, even if it’s not your only priority. Maintain boundaries, and don’t creep back into the old ways of doing things where personal life needlessly takes a back seat to your work. But just as you give 110 percent to your family, friends, or other passions, give 110 percent to your career. Go above and beyond, not just to impress your boss but because it matters. You are fighting for your clients’ rights, even if it doesn’t feel like it as you’re wading through thousands of pages of document production. Giving it your full attention and commitment can mean the difference between persuading a jury and boring a jury. It can mean the difference between thriving and simply surviving. Being fully vested in your career does not need to mean you aren’t also fully invested in your personal life.
Second, your reputation is your most valuable asset. Whether you practice in a big city or a small town, the legal world is small. Your opposing counsel today may be your presiding judge tomorrow. Your associate may one day be your client. So when you produce work product, even just for your supervisor to review, make it your best effort. When you are given the chance to speak, write, or otherwise get your name out there, take it, and use it as an opportunity. If you cultivate a reputation early in your career as a committed, dedicated, and excellent attorney, it will follow you for decades. This may mean exercising discretion in what you do and say in your private life. Social media can make your words, intended for a private audience, public. Your actions at public events can be filmed and posted. There is a lot to say about sociopolitical events these days, and there is certainly nothing wrong with making your opinions known, even publicly. But communicate judiciously. Do not censor yourself, but let the world know what you think and feel in a respectful and thoughtful manner.
Finally, don’t lose perspective on the fact that you are part of a community. Whether you are just starting out or approaching retirement, none of us reached this place in our careers on our own. We benefited from teachers, mentors, and cheerleaders along the way. Our obligation to pay it forward goes beyond simple gratitude and kindness. In this profession, we are part of a larger tradition, one that is easy to forget in the day-to-day grind of discovery and entering time. Take the time to mentor and take advantage of opportunities to be mentored. Build connections within the profession, and then rely on your professional community for support and encouragement. Get involved in a bar association, volunteer for legal aid, participate in alumni functions at your law school. You’ll find that a sense of community and purpose makes all the difference.
Reflecting on the first half of my career, I’m glad I became a lawyer. The responsibility gives me purpose, even if it also requires sacrifice. Being a lawyer is about more than just your legal skills, which is why the job is more than just nine to five.
A Younger Colleague’s Perspective: A Fresh Take
Whenever I (Raseq Moizuddin) ask experienced attorneys to describe their work-life balance as their younger selves, they laugh. They can’t help it. The phrase “work-life balance” had no meaning when they were younger attorneys. Now that they know what it is, they can tell you that the concept is so far removed from what they experienced that they don’t even know how to talk about it. So they laugh. They also usually share a story: I had to stay in the office until 10:00 p.m. because a partner could not get me revisions until after he finished his fancy steak dinner. I once had a partner who sent me major revisions to a brief at 4:00 p.m. that had to be filed in person by 4:30 p.m. that day (before the age of 11:59 p.m. e-filing deadlines). I, as a mother, took one week of “leave” after giving birth to my son, and even that was frowned upon.
These stories often make young attorneys cringe. They, too, can’t help it. Work-life balance is sacred to them. Contrary to popular well-experienced attorneys’ opinions, seeking work-life balance does not necessarily mean that younger attorneys don’t work hard. Younger attorneys will tell you that is a common misconception. They argue that prior generations worked too hard, often sacrificing significant parts of their lives, placing emphasis on the “work” part of work-life balance and not enough on the “life” or “balance” parts. Younger attorneys know what they signed up for when choosing this career path, and they understand that it takes hard work. What they do not understand is why they would have to miss life experiences in their younger years, why they would have to work through vacations, or why they can’t be home at night to do their kids’ bedtime routines, to be successful. Careers in the legal profession that rob them of those experiences are simply not worth it, especially not in the long term.
Therein lies the problem: a stark distinction in perspective. For prior generations, being an attorney was a way of life. It required not only your sacrifice but sacrifices from your family, your friends, and of things you enjoyed: hobbies, relationships, and experiences. At least until you really made it, which could take over 10 years. For younger generations, being an attorney is not necessarily a way of life. For many, it is a career that provides the means to a way of life that emphasizes family, friends, social causes, and experiences. That mentality almost always results in spending less time focusing on your career. Now, younger attorneys want to see a shift toward their mentality manifest itself in a legal profession that is still overrun by long hours, weekend work, the billable hour, and pressure-filled partnership tracks.
Take younger attorneys who are parents for example. So many of them have the same concern: How can they be a substantive part of their children’s lives, especially when their kids are young, while they’re trying to advance in their career? “I wish I could have finished work earlier so I could spend time with my kids before they fall asleep.” I have heard that a countless number of times now. It’s a sentiment that used to be shared mostly by female attorneys, but now more than ever, attorneys who are fathers are asking the same questions and feeling the same guilt. These attorneys are also told that they have to build a book of business; and in order to build a book of business, you have to network; in order to network, you have to make connections and attend conferences and events; and in order to make connections and attend events, you have to spend time outside of and on top of your work hours. All of these actions equate to spending less time with a significant other, friends, family, or kids they may already spend less time with because of their normal workload. Many young attorneys are beginning to second-guess whether they want to make that sacrifice despite genuinely wanting to be successful attorneys. Remote work alleviated some of those concerns, at least temporarily. All of a sudden, parents were able to be more involved in their kids’ lives throughout the day, instead of having to rush home from the office just to spend an hour with them before they slept. I’ve heard their stories too: I took a break to have lunch with my four-year-old today and she said it was the best lunch ever. During the time I would normally be commuting back home, I was able to take my son to Chuck E. Cheese for a quick playdate.
Even younger attorneys who are not in relationships and don’t have kids challenge the traditional concept of a legal career. They do not want to invest in a life that offers little work-life balance, especially at law firms. Younger attorneys will take pay cuts, avoid billable hour requirements, and seek hybrid work opportunities if it preserves their work-life balance. They also pay attention to their employers’ words and actions on sociopolitical issues. They want to know that their employers’ values align with their own, and they are far less reluctant to speak up, or to switch jobs, if they are not. Balancing personal values and priorities with work obligations allows them to focus on what they consider to be vital aspects of their lives. If there is something affecting their mental health outside of work, they will focus on addressing or resolving that issue instead of having to work through it on a daily basis. If they feel overwhelmed by work, they want to be able to take a step back without worrying that their career is going to take a hit. If there is a social justice cause they feel strongly about, they will want to address it and have it taken seriously, even at work.
These are some of the issues that shape the mentalities of younger attorneys and how they view their legal careers. It is not about working less. It is about respecting and valuing a person’s whole life instead of just the person’s work life. To younger attorneys, a person is valued not just by his or her job and what comes with it. Who they are counts, and those “non-work” aspects of their lives have tremendous value that should be acknowledged and supported, especially given the emphasis the legal profession places on diversity, equity, and inclusion.
The question now is, “how do you bridge the gap between these perspectives?” What I’ve learned from speaking to young attorneys is that it doesn’t take much.
Younger attorneys want their employers and managers to communicate with them about what their company, firm, or agency wants them to do to succeed. They want to know early whether the job is a good fit because, if not, they are open to finding another opportunity. Mid-level attorneys can be a great resource for newer attorneys, as they can bridge the gap, explaining practice challenges, benefits, and career trajectory to new graduates in a way that is more accessible than when it comes from a senior partner.
Legal work environments also need to adapt to the times, understand what younger attorneys want and need, and be flexible in how they structure employment opportunities. Listen to individual attorneys’ needs to tailor job duties and expectations, including temporarily if an attorney is going through a difficult personal situation. And think about potentially attractive benefits beyond compensation.
A quick final note: Almost all of the younger attorneys I spoke to said as long as there is a legitimate reason for them to work late or work on a weekend or at night that was not the product of an avoidable delay and they have a heads-up, they would be happy to jump in and assist on a project. It may take an extra step, but that quick heads-up and explanation can go a long way.
Keeping All Sides Happy
No legal environment—from a judge’s chambers to a large law firm—can function without both junior and senior attorneys. The four generations that make up most of the legal workforce come by their perspectives honestly. Boomers and Gen X grew up in a time when many modern civil rights laws had not yet been passed, but also a time of relative peace and financial security, especially for privileged populations. As a result, many learned to put their heads down, work hard, and trust in institutions, hoping that would ensure a secure career path. Millennials and Gen Z grew up in a post-9/11 world where even the big banks failed, and both tuition and student loan interest rates skyrocketed. They learned the importance of adapting to a changing world and not sacrificing their personal life for a less-than-certain career path, even if that means changing jobs frequently and speaking up about their needs. Of course, not everyone fits into these generalizations, but we feel it’s useful to think about how history impacts generational trends. Against this backdrop, and after plenty of personal reflection and conversations with our peers, our takeaway is that the generations have a lot to learn from each other and that there is more common ground than the stereotypes about the generational divide may make you believe. Most of that common ground focuses on a few themes: communication, transparency, flexibility, and inclusion.
Senior attorneys are under a lot of pressure from clients and courts to respond promptly, produce flawless work product, and bring innovative solutions to challenging legal problems. That sometimes calls for long hours of focused attention. Millennials and Gen Zers don’t mind that, as long as they understand the reason. They don’t want to give up their personal lives for avoidable emergencies, but they also don’t mind rolling up their sleeves when it really matters. Senior attorneys should communicate the “why” behind their requests so that junior attorneys feel respected and appreciated for their work. When they understand the “why,” they feel a part of a team. They are more committed to the final product and to their employer, and their work product is likely to be better because they are invested in the outcome.
Legal employers should also be transparent about employment expectations. Junior attorneys want to get promoted, make partner, try cases, and take on responsibility. They also want transparency about what it takes to reach those goals. When billable hour requirements feel like random numbers picked to drive profits per partner instead of being tied to costs and profitability metrics, when the requirements for making partner or getting promoted are ambiguous, or when remote work policies are not clear, junior attorneys feel like mere employees as opposed to members of a profession. Junior attorneys want to be part of a team, not a cog in a wheel. If expectations are clear from the outset, attorneys are more likely to join organizations where they fit and where they will thrive. They will have more job satisfaction over time and be more committed to their workplace if they feel included.
In fact, most of the success in a workplace depends on creating a culture of inclusion. In the past, employees were expected to leave their personal lives and their authentic selves at the door when they walked into the office. An inclusive workplace recognizes that we are all individuals with personal lives, values, interests, and identities that are not shed just because we walk into a courtroom or an office. We bring those experiences, thoughts, and beliefs to our professional lives, and our legal skills and workplace dynamics are enriched for it. When an attorney feels free to say “I need to leave at 4:30 but I can log back on after my child is in bed to finish this,” he or she feels safe. Attorneys feel included when their employer acknowledges that what has hit the news cycle affects them on a personal level and that they cannot leave sociopolitical events at the office door. All attorneys want to feel that they can balance the personal and professional. The lesson learned from junior attorneys is that this type of inclusion matters more to retention and loyalty than the annual salary.
All this requires flexibility from both junior and senior attorneys. Senior attorneys and legal employers of all types must embrace the modern workplace. Flexible schedules, hybrid work, and alternative work schedules allow skilled attorneys who might otherwise drop out of the profession to stay engaged and active. Successful legal careers do not always follow a straight path, and employers should be open to candidates who have taken time off to raise children, allow attorneys to work a reduced schedule to care for their own medical condition or that of a loved one, or otherwise accept that lawyers sometimes need to step back temporarily to balance the demands of their non-work lives. Legal employers have to realize that if they don’t adapt, talented lawyers will find an employer who will. At the same time, junior attorneys need to understand that we are a service profession, and if we do not meet the needs of clients, judges, board members, customers, and other stakeholders, they will find a lawyer who will. That may require adjusting expectations of what work-life balance looks like and about how to juggle personal and professional lives. For both senior and junior lawyers, adapting to these realities may be the difference between a frustrating and fulfilling career.
In the end, being a lawyer is a lifestyle, even if it isn’t your whole life. The legal profession has come a long way because younger generations push senior attorneys to consider new ways of working and of thinking about their careers. Junior attorneys in turn have a lot to learn—what to do and what not to do—from their mentors who have navigated this lifestyle for decades. As a result, there can be no doubt that a multigenerational workplace is better, wiser, more innovative, more agile, and more productive because of our differences. Generational diversity—like all diversity—helps us work better and smarter.