I never had a dog. And never will. But I get it, I really do. Unlike children, dogs love you unconditionally, and even in a depressing world of unimaginable terrorism, heartbreaking poverty, and the nauseating smell of the slob next to you on the R train, their tails wag and eyes dance whenever you walk in the door. As a neighbor remarked: I have a wife and four kids; the dog’s the only one who’s happy to see me. But please stop telling me how Mr. Biggs or Coconut or some cute little fuzz ball cries when you leave or jumps on your lap to watch Downton Abbey. I really don’t care.
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