On October 9, 2023, at 2 a.m., I received the following phone call from my 20-year-old son:
Dad, it’s me. My unit is heading into Gaza in a few hours. I don’t have much time to talk, but I promise I will stay safe. I won’t have my phone with me, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to call again. Hopefully, in a week or so. Tell everyone I love them ...
From that moment on, my life changed forever.
Andrew graduated high school in June 2021 and made Aliyah — he moved to Israel and became an Israeli citizen. All Israeli citizens are required to serve three years in the Israeli Army after graduating from high school. The army undertakes intensive physical and mental evaluations of all persons entering the army, and Andrew was placed in Sayeret Givati — ground combat/infantry.
I could not bear to watch any news regarding the events of October 7. My heart was breaking for the families and friends of those killed, injured, and taken across the border. I was thinking about Andrew, but I convinced myself that my son would not be put in harm’s way — he’s a kid, an American, and there were plenty of capable soldiers who would be sent to Gaza before him.
On October 9 at 2 a.m., I realized I was desperately wrong.
About a week or so later, I received a phone call at approximately 4 a.m. from an unknown number with an Israeli (+972) exchange. I jumped up, reached over to my wife, and told her that someone was calling from Israel to tell me that my son was dead. About five seconds after I said “Hello,” I heard my son say that he was using his commanding officer’s phone, he was safe, he was still in Gaza, he loved me, but he must get off because the phone use must be limited to less than 30 seconds. By the time I could say “I love you,” he was off the phone. This went on for approximately three months. From one end of the emotional spectrum to the other, it became impossible to sleep, eat, or have any regular routine, either day or night. I ate my way through our pantry, not knowing what I was eating or how much of it I had already eaten. Professionally and personally, I was crashing and taking my family and business down with me.
In November, I sought out psychiatric help — not just any psychiatric help, but an Israeli psychiatrist. Before we even began our session, she assured me that I would not receive a phone call if something happened to my son – a member of the Israeli Consulate would knock on our door, day or night. That eased my mind tremendously. The second thing I did was to have weekly meetings with a therapist to work on developing coping skills to contend with my anxiety and stress. Lastly, I went back to law practice management basics — marketing, management, finance, and technology — to retool my practice and present a better version of The Law Offices of Alan J. Klevan, P.C.
While my story is unique to attorneys, the same stressors can and will be felt when a crisis faces you — it can be a death, a divorce, a traumatic family situation, financial issues, or even something less personal and more mundane like watching the news discuss politics.
Stress is everywhere, and how we both perceive and manage stress is up to you.
We have all heard the quote, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” My therapist broke it down to a language that I was able to process: You can’t change things that you can’t change. If you can’t change the situation, adjust the way you approach it. If you don’t like what is being broadcast on the news, don’t watch it. My psychiatrist told me that the IDF is the most sophisticated army in the world, and they would do everything possible to make sure my son, and all its soldiers, were safe. I couldn’t change what was going on in the conflict in the Middle East, so it made little sense to be apoplectic about it. Things happen, and you can’t change what has happened. The only thing you can change is yourself, how you perceive the situation, and how you respond to it. Think of it as being on a rollercoaster — you’re on it, you can’t hop off it, so take the plunge and live for the ride.
Every study I have come across indicates that over 50% of all practicing attorneys experience stress in either their lives or their practice. Less than half of those have sought active help for it. We lawyers need to know our limits! If we are not 100% involved in a client’s matter, we’re not truly “zealously” advocating for them. Just as we are professionals in the legal field, social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists are professionals in the mental health field. Seeking mental health support is not a stigma — it’s a step toward your personal well-being.
The practice of mindfulness, while it exists all over the world, does not always entail sitting cross-legged for seven days at a retreat with no phone or other connection with the outside world. Broken down to its simplest of terms, mindfulness is the practice of being aware. It means being aware of your thoughts, your actions, and your surroundings. When you are meeting or speaking with a client, how often does your mind wander and start to worry about future deadlines, or a family issue at home, or even what you would like to have for dinner? If this is you, then you’re not really giving your client 100% attention, which honestly isn’t fair to your client.
There are many valuable resources on mindfulness and meditation, and I meditate no more than five minutes per day. I sit comfortably in my office, take a few deep breaths, and consciously touch each of my fingers to my thigh while telling myself “pinky, ring finger, middle finger,” and so on. Doing this, I am also incorporating mindfulness because I am aware of the fingers I am using. If you attempt this and suddenly you say to yourself that you can’t concentrate, you are practicing mindfulness because you are aware that what you’re doing is not working! Soon, muscle memory will take over and this simple routine will become a small part of your morning.
The most logical answer to overcoming stress is also the most difficult to some, and that is physically taking care of your body. I am neither a gym rat nor an exercise expert, but I have read ad nauseam that exercise stimulates the release of endorphins in the body, which reduces stress and acts as a natural mood stimulator. Exercising also leads to weight loss and increases stamina, which increases self-image. Studies have shown that even the most moderate aerobic activity (30 minutes at 130 heartbeats per minute) triggers endorphin release.
There is a lot to consider with technology, so I am going to break this topic down into four parts: organization, automation, workflows, and artificial intelligence (AI). Each of these considerations can be effectively implemented in reducing stress.
I was once told that “a clean desk is the sign of a sick mind.” While this may be a bit extreme, it is obvious that organization promotes efficiency, which leads to calmness. Consider one or more of these tips:
Automation is the least used concept in legal practice, yet the most important concept in one’s legal practice to manage stress. Document automation is a process used to replicate the most redundant of tasks. I am talking about initial retainer documents, contracts, requests for medical records and bills, letters of representation, powers of attorney — documents lawyers use and rely upon every day. Each time an attorney cuts and pastes into a previously used document, the likelihood of error is increased. If a document contains an identifying factor, such as a name, date of birth, or Social Security number, if an attorney fails to remove the old information, confidentiality issues arise. If a document is automated, that chance is reduced drastically. Most case management platforms now have some form of robust document automation built into the platform.
A workflow is a series of steps to streamline routine legal processes, from client intake to file closure. There are countless ways an attorney or a firm can create and implement a workflow, but it is imperative that a lawyer or firm have a workflow. Again, workflows take the previously mentioned redundant tasks, which have now been automated, and now become the backbone of your legal practice. Workflows include calendaring, creating tasks, creating appointments, and managing the documents created and received in an organized fashion. The way lawyers use case management platforms is a workflow.
It is important to recognize that if you are using a new product, immediately jumping in and creating a workflow without a plan is dangerous. It is best to delay implementing a complete office workflow until you are better able to understand how the new software works. It may be best to build the workflow out in steps and use it for a period of time. Start with creating the landing page for a new case, then perhaps build a task list, etc. If you build your workflow this way, it will be easier to tweak any changes that may arise.
Countless articles have been written on the use of AI in legal practice, and I suggest you read some of them to understand what AI is and how to implement it in your practice. For purposes of this article, my advice is to use AI in a way that makes you comfortable with its use. For example, understand that if you use ChatGPT or Claude or Copilot to research cases, you need to review those cases cited to avoid professional liability issues!
It is important to recognize that AI is a conversational tool. For example, I use AI primarily to review the medical records I receive in a personal injury case. Once I review what my AI tool (Clio Duo) has provided me, I ask questions about specific portions of the record. If I do not understand a certain medical term, I ask it to explain the condition, its treatment options, prognosis, etc. This way, when I present my demand letter, I am speaking with the utmost knowledge of my client’s condition.
AI is essentially “predictive analytics.” In lay terms, AI predicts what information you are looking for based on what you input. Don’t be happy with AI’s first response to your query. Dig deeper and determine which prompts generate the best results. The more you refine your prompts, the more relevant the responses will be. Understanding AI in this way will make you more comfortable with its use in your practice.
After writing about all this tech stuff, it is also advisable to do a bit of a “tech-ectomy.” Back off on some of the more popular “techtivities,” such as texting, emailing, and doomscrolling. COVID is over, and we are allowed to see each other and even speak to each other on the phone. Don’t hide from your clients and colleagues behind an email or a text message. Pick up the phone and have some human interaction. There is no need to discuss the harm involved with doomscrolling. Listen to your music or favorite podcast instead. My therapist advised me to learn something new every day. When I asked what he meant, he didn’t answer, as he made me figure out the answer myself. Soon, I was reading books more frequently, I subscribed to a handful of podcasts, and I am taking walks around my neighborhood and adjoining hiking trails.
Stressors are all around us. Feeling the stress is inevitable — reacting to the stress is intrinsically personal. We must hold ourselves accountable for how we deal with stress. There is no need to rehash what I have already presented. The most obvious answer is that no one is going to help you deal with stress until you help yourself. Seek assistance, be it from a mental health advocate or a personal trainer. Set achievable goals in your office for managing your files or creating workflows. Review the technology in your office and ask yourself if your tech stack is the most efficient and effective for your type of practice.
As my therapist told me: “There are two words that can change your life if you take the time to fully understand them and implement them in a way that works for you: enrich yourself.”
And Andrew? He completed his service in October 2024. He lives north of Tel Aviv with his girlfriend (a sniper in the army), works with an Israel-based startup company, and plays golf as much as he can. Yes, Israel has a golf course, and he’s considered one of the best golfers in Israel. I owe Andrew much gratitude, not just for his service, but for how the situation has made me a better lawyer and a happier and healthier person.
