Remember how excited you were when you got accepted to law school? Are you still as excited about practicing law as you were then? If not, why not? What changed over time for you? If you find yourself a little more skeptical of your life and practice or maybe just not as trustful of others, even cynical, you’re not alone. If you find this to be true of your entire law firm culture, this is more common than not, too.
We will be devoting an entire panel of experts to this topic at the ABA Well-Being Week in Law in May 2025. Here are highlights of what you can expect to learn from the panel.
The law is known for breeding cynicism, a precursor to disillusionment and burnout. Cynicism is defined as the belief that people are only interested in themselves and not sincere. When you continue to practice law, perhaps having experiences that leave you feeling that others are not sincere, it may leave you feeling hollow inside, almost lost without a purpose. As time goes on, this skepticism, doubt about others’ motivations, and mistrust start to add up. Lawyers often report to me that they feel stressed as a result, worried and anxious about the future.
This stress can leave you disillusioned about why you even became a lawyer. I know I had many of these moments in my practice of law. While my career as an investment management lawyer was thriving, what I sometimes saw around me confused me and left me feeling sad and even stuck. I had gone into the practice of law to be of service in a very noble profession. Didn’t all lawyers do so?
I left the practice of law when I started to sense that my burnout was real and impacting my health. I’m not advocating that you do the same. In fact, I’m hoping that before you hit burnout, with the right tools you will stay in the profession, healthy, successful, fulfilled, and a contribution to other lawyers by being a role model.
Here are three key areas on which to focus. We will build upon these topics in our panel conversation.
Most often the natural tendency is to ignore how we feel inside and just power through our day-to-day practice. Doing so may feel like the smart thing to do. Perhaps you were taught that your emotions have no place in a professional setting. The result of ignoring your emotions is that it leaves you unaware of how your body is responding to your cynical outlook on your day-to-day profession and life. You can only go so long in this manner before you start to develop physical symptoms that slow you down and perhaps even leave you ineffective as counsel.
Instead, practice acknowledging your emotions. If you feel sad, feel the sadness. Acknowledge it and then let it go. If you feel angry because your associate or opposing counsel responded in a less than professional manner, feel your anger. In this way, you are feeling your humanity. Your humanity is the best gift you bring to your clients and practice. Clients hire humans who happen to be lawyers.
When I was practicing in Washington, D.C., I slowly blurred the lines between who I was and what I did for a living. Whenever anyone asked me at a happy hour to introduce myself, I would respond with some version of “I am a lawyer.” In D.C., one out of every 200 or so people are lawyers. Being a lawyer was not very special. Being a human being who practiced law was, and is, always special.
Do not confuse your role as a lawyer with your identity as a human being. Sit down and make a list of all your roles (mother, father, daughter, son, sibling, aunt, uncle, baseball coach, author, etc.). Then step back and see how each of your roles reflects your true identity. Your identity is that of a perfect, divine human being who is worthy just because you exist. Doing this exercise will remind you of who you really are, thus allowing you to feel confident, reducing stress, and inviting well-being into your life.
So often we believe that as lawyers we don’t need support. Over the years, so many clients have told me that they waited until they hit their breaking point before they reached out for my coaching support. Why? They felt that because they were lawyers and counsel for so many clients, they were not worthy of support themselves.
Everyone needs support. You are not alone in the world. The world is meant to function optimally as a cooperative, supportive environment. You deserve support. Whether that’s a therapist, a coach, or just sharing with a friend, please remember you are worthy of support.
As you shift and grow, addressing your own mindset of cynicism, wanting to feel healthy and well, you will organically bring this mindset and ensuing results to your law firm atmosphere. Beyond formal programs, showing up every day and role modeling allows your law firm atmosphere to shift naturally, too. You just must be willing to go first and be the change you want to see for your law firm.
