This year, the ABA Litigation Section published “Her Story Book 2: The Resilient Woman Lawyer’s Guide to Conquering Obstacles,” a collection of stories and advice by women lawyers. The authors explore the status of women in the legal profession, discuss overcoming obstacles, and provide practical tips and career advice, all intended to inspire women lawyers. The approximately 50 essays in the book were authored by women lawyers from a variety of different practice areas, career stages, and experiences.
To help bring this book to more women lawyers, I spoke to several other Her Story 2 essay authors, as well as the book editors, to share their thoughts and motivation behind their Her Story contributions and to give you a behind-the-scenes look into this resource. As one of the essay authors, I’m proud to offer my thoughts alongside these amazing women in support of advancing other women lawyers. At the end of this article, you can learn more about the book, get information about Her Story 2 roundtable book discussion events, and listen to my Her Story 2 essay by audio.
My career path included merging work with having babies, then raising children, then teenagers and young adults; fostering a healthy relationship with an incredibly supportive spouse; looking for ways to change the world in a positive way; and striving to advance in my law firm. I listened to younger women question if they could have a family and a career, and I wanted to ensure there are success stories that younger women can read so they have role models to look to as examples of what to do and even what not to do. That goal of providing role models led to the first Her Story book. Then, after many years in the profession and trying to mold myself into what my law firm partners saw as a successful partner (where the advice was to work harder, and not to worry about business development!), I realized the male partners I worked with were never going to see me as an equal. I slowly began to realize the problem wasn’t with me — it was their failure to see the potential and actual value of my work. I saw other women experiencing this problem as well, especially friends who are women of color. So again, the goal was to share stories of real women attorneys who are tackling these issues so we know that none of us are alone, and to gather all of those powerful stories in one place to have greater impact, and hopefully trigger change.
In serving on the board and eventually as president of the National Conference of Women’s Bar Associations, I met women all over the country and discovered our stories are wonderfully and gloriously unique, but we also have much in common and much we can learn from one another. The Her Story books are incredible collections of powerful stories from women attorneys (and a couple of GOOD Guys) to uplift us and point us onward and upward! These are stories for women at all stages in their careers, for male attorneys who want to know of our struggles so they can be better allies, and for those who manage attorneys in any sector to learn about the unique issues women face in the workplace, to help more women advance to the highest levels, and to achieve higher levels of equity in the workplace among men and women, for persons of color, for lawyers of all genders, and for LGBTQ and disabled persons.
When asked to write an essay in Her Story 2, I knew I needed to acknowledge the stereotypes and biases that hold women lawyers back, while also focusing on an important way to change the narrative. My perspective is shaped by my personal journey as a former BigLaw partner, as a new solo who started her own boutique firm two years ago, by decades of coaching and mentorship activities to advance women lawyers, and as a national speaker and author of three books on overcoming gender bias.
First, my essay introduces some of the biases regularly holding women lawyers back. Unfortunately, much of this bias is invisible even to women lawyers, so they are unable to be intentional in making decisions reducing its impact. While my first book uncovers these biases in-depth and teaches women how to navigate them, my Her Story 2 essay introduces some of these biases to help women build awareness and begin to understand their impact.
In addition, my essay discusses the importance of involving men in our efforts to end gender inequality. Getting men involved to work with us collaboratively will allow us to develop a sense of shared values, common objectives, and respect for differences. The path to gender equality will be much shorter if we can get men off of the sidelines and involved in changing the narrative.
This essay is data focused and explores the persistent gender and racial disparities in the legal profession, despite progress in law school admissions. It discusses how, even as women outnumber men in law schools, they remain underrepresented in senior law firm positions, particularly at the equity partner level. The essay further delves into the unique challenges faced by women of color, who not only are underrepresented but also face greater barriers to advancement, including discriminatory practices and the burdens of “invisible labor” that bar them from even the limited advancements enjoyed by their white women colleagues. The data analyzed illustrates the slow progress and structural obstacles that continue to hinder women’s professional growth.
These topics are vital for women lawyers to consider because they underscore the reality that entering the profession is not the same as advancing within it. By understanding these challenges, women attorneys can better navigate the professional landscape, advocate for themselves, and collaborate to dismantle these barriers. Awareness of these disparities allows women to strategize and seek supportive networks, mentors, and allies who can help foster growth and advocate for meaningful change.
The essay is crucial reading for anyone invested in advancing women in the legal profession because it not only highlights the systemic issues but also calls for a collective effort to address them. By acknowledging these barriers and sharing actionable strategies, the essay empowers women lawyers to work together in creating a more inclusive and equitable environment. It serves as a call to action for law firms and individuals to recognize and actively work against the biases and structural inequalities that continue to impede women’s professional advancement.
I am so thrilled and honored to have an essay included in this amazing collection. Our stories of triumph and struggle will inspire and cause you to clutch this book to your chest saying, “They get me!” My essay shares both the slow dawning and my daybreak moment when I realized we practice law in a way that neither works for our clients nor works for ourselves. As women, we cannot continue to practice law in ways that have been handed down through generations, keeping us docile and obedient. The way we practice law is full of inconsistencies and mixed messages that keep us spinning our wheels and burning out. And yet, women are uniquely positioned to redesign the practice of law. We can and we will, through empathy, exploring alternatives, and experimenting until we find better solutions for our clients and ourselves. While I wrote it before the “Barbie” movie came out, I hope it stirs the same energies and motivations for female lawyers as the America Ferrera speech did for women everywhere.
My essay addresses the awful drowning feeling women lawyers often experience. So many women lawyers feel like their heads are swirling with to-dos, and there is never enough time to keep up with it all. They want to feel more organized, more on top of things, and less distracted so they can just flow through their day, get the important things done, and feel accomplished every day. Instead, women often go to bed each night haunted by the ghosts of undone to-dos. In my essay, I talk about how women lawyers often turn to efforts like planning, organizing, and powering through in an attempt to keep up with it all but actually risk burnout instead.
At the same time, the women lawyers I work with often feel guilty about how they spend their time. In addition to guilt, they also struggle with issues such as imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the nagging feeling there’s something wrong with them if they are struggling. In the essay, you will learn about some of the external causes lurking behind these issues that may flip the way you think about them and bring you some relief.
Finally, we’ll talk about your own priorities, what you value, and what makes you happy. I’ll help you understand why it can be so challenging for women lawyers to identify their own priorities, let alone put yourself on the front burner. (And spoilers, Friends sitcom fans, there’s even a Monica Geller metaphor in there for you!)
Women lawyers regularly tell me my writing is putting into words how they are feeling in a way they struggle to do for themselves. I hope my essay, the powerful essays discussed above, and the many other amazing essays waiting for you in Her Story 2 also help you feel heard, unpack the issues behind the feelings and struggles you are experiencing, and offer you not only support and inspiration but also practical, actionable advice to help you thrive in law and in life.
Learn more about “Her Story Book 2: The Resilient Woman Lawyer’s Guide to Conquering Obstacles” and the book’s other co-editors, Alicia M. Menendez and Shayna M. Steinfeld. (The first book, “Her Story: Lessons in Success from Lawyers Who Live It” was published in 2017. The books can be read independently of each other.) You can also look for an upcoming event in the Her Story 2 roundtable book discussion series. Finally, you can listen to my Her Story 2 chapter, “Learn How to Define Your Priorities and Use Them for Success,” in audio form on your phone. Please feel free to reach out to connect with me, with the other authors in this article, and with the other amazing women lawyers in Her Story 2. I feel confident I speak for all of us in saying it lights us up to support other women lawyers, and we’re here cheering you on!
