Have you ever noticed that as soon as you turn on Netflix (or any other streaming service of choice), you are instantly barraged with stories of strong, successful women fighting their way to the top? Stories of fighting corporate America (“Working Girl”), the glorified practice of law and quest for partnership (“The Partner Track”), and the quintessential every girl for herself at all costs to friends (“Mean Girls”). Layer these shows with social media accounts that scream self-empowerment and “nothing (and no one) is going to stand in my way of success” messaging. The message seems clear: go make “it” happen for yourself, at all costs.
The socializing of women unwilling to support colleagues rising through the ranks has become not just part of our pop culture but an unfortunate everyday reality for too many professional women — including those rising through the ranks in private legal practice. It makes us wonder whether we would pay attention if the messages were no longer of competition (or passive-aggressive support) but of incredible collaboration where women win together. Put simply, can you imagine a world where the possibilities are endless because women choose to support each other and actively engage in supportive conversations and collective business development efforts?
As it happens, when facilitating women’s affinity group retreats and workshops, I get the chance to witness these types of supportive choices at work. And the results are simply astounding. Let’s consider how women can actively choose to support other women and in turn create better results together.
While working on women empowerment projects, it is noticeable when women do not know each other or what they do enough to be supportive and inclusive in work projects. Let’s change this and get to know each other.
While this may seem like an obvious first step, the practice goes deeper than just knowing the names and practice group descriptions on any website. Take some time to thoughtfully expand your internal network of female attorneys and get to know what they are looking to grow and develop in their practice over the next year. Sit down for a conversation with people you don’t always work with and those who are new to the office. This simple step can go a long way in creating an inclusive and cooperative environment. Ask good questions and do this without hurry or agenda. Don’t just look to those who make sense to you and help you reach your goals — think outside the box and build a collective environment by asking the questions that expand your work and the women you are in conversation with at the same time.
When someone cares about you and your success, and you can jointly be supportive back to them, work is simply more fun. Research on accountability shows that consistent check-ins make a big difference in the results achieved. A next-level opportunity is setting up an accountability program where women check in with each other to share their business development efforts and goals for the coming month. This might mean using a simple business development checklist (whether it is one you distribute each month or one you create that aligns with your clients and goals). An even better step, pick one opportunity each month and gather the incredible women you work with to brainstorm and strategize on how to make this idea a reality. Collaborative efforts widen the circle of success and create a ripple effect.
While this might seem like a no-brainer, it is often overlooked. Women clients often face the same pressures as you. Instead of vying for them to give you work, use that energy to invest in knowing more about them and their goals and finding opportunities that can help them along the way. This might come as a simple introduction to a team member, inviting them to a book club, or helping them find community and supportive colleagues in a new position. Be the helpful hand, not for billable hours, but because the energy of women supporting women is contagious and allows a safer space to talk about the big issues that require a trusted thinking partner along the way.
I remember sitting in a meeting when the invitations to a women’s affinity group were being distributed and the discussion hinged on who was worth having in the room. While you might guess my reaction to this brainstorm, let me offer up that my answer typically is fit as many as you possibly can. This applies to book clubs, networking dinners, conference happy hours, and squeezing another chair around the lunch table. While inclusivity does not require bringing every woman you have ever met into the fold and into your client development strategy, it does mean noticing when there are opportunities to bring others into the discussion. It means not grasping onto work for the sake of taking it, without regard to others who might be outstanding resources for the clients. And it means being openly supportive of changing the statistics together.
A simple goal to move each of these ideas forward is to set a goal to track each of these categories for a month. Identify opportunities for other women and get to know the smart, professional women you work with while noticing how your efforts show up in results over time. It is time to embrace how we can be better together. Quite simply, there are more nuances to discuss, opportunities to identify, and collective wins waiting to happen once you decide that working together is far better than trying to succeed alone.
