As a lawyer mom of four, I am all too familiar with the angst derived by a question as small as, “What are we going to eat tonight?” You have spent your entire day lawyering and solving other people’s problems, but somehow this is the one that topples the tower—not because it’s burdensome but because the question is a glaring reminder that at least one aspect of your life is a mess. My work is done, but I haven’t fed my kids. Or I made it to every game of the baseball tournament, but I missed the important fundraising gala.
As guilt-provoking as the latter thought is, it’s undeniable that there are a plethora of professional opportunities that happen off the clock.
For many working moms, the joys of motherhood are accompanied by feelings of anxiety, exhaustion and inadequacy. Raising good humans is an honorable and necessary job, but sometimes it feels like it’s at the expense of your career or professional aspirations.
In an ABA study of more than 8,000 lawyers, an overwhelming 60% of working mothers thought that being a mom negatively impacted the way that their co-workers view them.
It can be difficult to articulate these feelings without running the risk of sounding like you’re complaining. Moms—especially new moms, are faced with the dichotomy of joy and sadness that motherhood sometimes brings. You’re experiencing the overwhelming joy and love that come with nurturing a child. But on the other hand, you’re grappling with the loss of agency you once had. And it’s OK. These feelings are normal and valid.
Motherhood changes you, but it’s not always in the ways that you think. We are our biggest critics. But as I’ve said to many prospective jurors, “Feelings are not facts.” From one mom to another, you may feel like you’re losing, but let’s discuss all that you have gained from motherhood. Here are five ways that being a mother has enhanced your skills as a lawyer.
1. Multitasking
“Work smarter, not harder” is a mantra of lawyer moms everywhere. There just aren’t enough hours in a day to take on every task one at a time. As a result, the ability to multitask kicks into hyperdrive. The COVID-19 pandemic propelled this trait, as many of us had to actively participate in Zoom calls with a toddler wrapped around our leg while helping another child log in to class.
Moms are master multitaskers because we must be. Our ability to order dinner while simultaneously locating a shin guard in the trunk while muted on a Zoom call is what makes you a remarkable lawyer. How many times have you had to quickly find a relevant case cite when an unexpected issue comes up in court? Multitasking forces you to find innovative ways to be efficient, manage your time properly and ultimately improves productivity.
2. Time management
When we became moms, we became the ad-hoc personal assistants to our children. We are responsible for not only managing our calendar but also our kids’ appointments, extracurricular activities, etc.
I entered law school with a 1-year-old and soon discovered that I was pregnant with my second child. I was extremely worried about my ability to manage law school while having small children. But to my surprise, as my personal responsibilities increased, my grade-point average did, as well. I rose to the occasion because I had to. This is not unique to me; working moms everywhere have done the same.
Motherhood forces us to be intentional about prioritizing and managing our time. This heightened resilience and organization shows up when we are tasked with managing deadlines, client meetings, court appearances and other work obligations.