Mindfulness During the Holidays and Challenging Times

December is a busier month than usual leading up to the holidays, and while we are all striving to be able to take some downtime, often we find ourselves in a scurrying rush to get everything done. Oftentimes we unconsciously overload ourselves and then wonder why we are so tired. At this point, many of us feel like we are behind, and the sense of overwhelm can creep into our psyches. This week, I finally had to start telling new clients, “No, this cannot be started or completed before the end of the year.” I think to myself but do not say, “Does the phrase ‘poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine’ come to anyone’s mind?” Smile.

Set Your Boundaries and Stop Overpromising

I have been talking to lawyers all week, and we all seem to share the same issue of potential new clients calling at the last minute with unrealistic expectations. The courts here are pretty much shut down. For years I would say, “Yes,” and then work myself into oblivion to get it all done, often at a high cost to me. I finally asked a client who was trying to pressure me the other day, “Where are you going for the holidays?” They told me about the great trip with their family they had planned from right before Christmas until after the new year. I said, “In terms of getting this done before the end of the year, don’t you think that I need that same time off too? Yep, you are right, we are closed the week in between Christmas and New Year’s.” They looked at me, smiled, then realized that their expectations were unrealistic.

They didn’t get mad or angry, they just let go of the idea that it could happen. I finally stopped overpromising. Many of us solos have office administrative tasks to do during that last week, such as bookkeeping, office automation, or changing files over. Although I will be here, I need some downtime to catch my breath and gear up for the new year. By setting that boundary and expressing it in a firm yet fair way, I am preserving my energy and practicing wellness. Self-care comes in many shapes and sizes, and the deeper you go in your practice, the more benefit you derive.

Watch Your Health to Prevent Burnout

Another type of stress that comes into play this time of the year is the fact that some of us have immense pressure to overspend. Throw in too many back-to-back parties, some overeating of sweets and fatty foods, and too many cocktails, and you have a recipe for a meltdown during the madness. The most basic way to head overwhelm off at the pass is to make sure you are eating and sleeping properly. Mix in some healthy food with all the treats. Get enough sleep. Just the basics will do in a pinch.

Have you noticed a lot of people get sick around this time of year, too? We still have the stress of COVID, flu, and RSV looming over us, and walking into a big, fun office party can be intimidating for some due to the fear of illness. It can be exhausting, and that is why many lawyers are burned out about this time.

Take plenty of vitamin C or whatever you use to keep your immune system high. I love to blend a big chunk of fresh ginger along with flavored vitamin C powder in cold water, strain it, and drink it down. When we ratchet up our stress with the constant barrage of scattered thoughts, they can easily take control of many of our bodily functions and end up causing us to have health issues. We don’t want to let anything get to us that threatens our health. There is simply too much to do.

Step Up Your Mindfulness Practices

Step up your daily meditations and your focus on gratitude and what is right about a situation rather than what is wrong during this intense month—those are surefire ways to help tamp down the rising feeling of anxiety and stress that you may be feeling. You can rely on your inner voice to calm you down and tell you everything is all right, right now. You can step up your proper breathing to get your heart rate back down and bring a sense of relaxation into your nervous system. Just take a few minutes when the swirl of it all threatens to overtake you.

Luckily, I have been practicing what I am preaching, and I have been able to really enjoy the many Christmas parties this season and still feel good the next day so I can get my work done. I’m so grateful for my game-changing mindfulness practices. I promise you it will pay off if you take that little bit of time each day.

When a Major Life Event Deals You A Blow

In addition to the many daily things that can increase our stress during this holiday season, sometimes we have major events that knock us completely off track. A childhood friend of mine lost her father this month, and we all gathered to celebrate his life. It was bittersweet; he had been a role model in my life since I was 12 and someone who loved and supported me unconditionally. He had the good fortune to live until nearly his 98th year, so while it was sad, we celebrated a life well lived.

Those of us who are in the American Bar Association and especially the GPSolo Division are heartbroken right now with the news last week of losing our esteemed Division Chair Scott C. LaBarre. A few months ago, we had gotten the news he was ill; we hoped for the best, but then we got the news that he did not have long to live. He died much sooner than any of us had thought possible. We are struggling with our grief, going over our memories, and just trying to make some sense of it all. His loss will be felt for a long time, and we are all coming together and want to make him proud with all we accomplish during the remainder of his year.

In my January column for GPSolo eReport, I will reprint the chapter I did on Scott in the ABA book Defining Moments: Insights into the Lawyer’s Soul. His courage and intelligence are reflected in his interview, where his LEAD line is “Your Possibilities are Limitless.” To accomplish all he did is impressive, and to think he did it all as a blind man and without complaint, it just boggles the mind. Please make sure and read it in the January eReport.

Scott was a role model to us all. In honor of him this month, I include a guided meditation script, “Reflecting on a Role Model.” It is reprinted by permission from Mindfulness Exercises. Please read through it and do this meditation with someone who is your role model in mind. It should bring you a sense of peace and joy and help you move on to the next task on your busy agenda.

And don’t forget to take some time to reflect on what you have accomplished this year, what you did right, and appreciate yourself for those things before moving on to setting your goals for the next year. Just remember: All we have is the present moment now. I am grateful for this opportunity to share what I am learning and incorporating into my life with you every other month. 2023 is going to be a great year.