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October 20, 2020 The BLT (Balanced Life Theory)

Navigating the New Normal

Cedric Ashley
What can we do to manage change and thrive?

What can we do to manage change and thrive?

Atakan/iStock via Getty Images Plus

As I entered a store recently, I saw a child and parent shopping for school supplies. It brought a smile to my face. Yes, it was that time of the year, the beginning of school. But, of course, the smile that came to my face was covered by a KN95 mask that I had been wearing since about April. Yes, we are in a “new normal.” I’m not sure which phrase is more popular, the “new normal” or getting “back to normal,” but it is certain that things have changed. In addition to returning to school, autumn brings other reminders of change: a new Supreme Court term on the first Monday in October and new sports seasons for the NBA, NFL, and NHL. But the newness of fall 2020 is radically different, and we must learn to navigate it successfully.

Depending on where you are practicing law, your new normal may also include a significant amount of remote web and virtual work and plenty of Zoom meetings. In less than eight months, the practice of law has experienced disruption, change, and adaptation that under normal circumstances would occur over several years if not a decade. So, we have learned that we can change rapidly and accept that change, albeit reluctantly. But the unanswered question is: To what extent are we successfully managing the change thrust upon us?

The change in the practice of law did not occur in isolation. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought about change in all aspects of our lives. If you are an attorney with children, or taking care of a parent, you have also had to navigate that change as well. Managing client and court meetings online while being home teacher to your children is no easy task—and all the while trying to plan out tasks such as shopping that were once taken for granted. To further compound the compounding, many of us have had to navigate this change in isolation. Physical connectedness to our social networks, bar groups, or fellow employees was necessarily sacrificed to stop the spread of the pandemic.

Studies and news accounts are beginning to highlight that in addition to the physical COVID-19 disease, we are also experiencing an increase in mental health afflictions. Mild depression, anxiety, and abnormal sleeping patterns are just a few of the things that people report experiencing. Once again, to further compound the compounded, the pandemic exacerbated the mental health concerns that attorneys were already facing.

So, with all these factors as a backdrop, what can we do to manage change and thrive in the new normal? In the spirit of fall planting and harvesting, I will use the gardening metaphors of peel, pick, prune, and plant to set forth a strategy to navigate and thrive in the new normal.

Peel. Peel back the layers of your life to find what’s working and what isn’t. You are a whole person, and you must holistically assess all domains of your life. You might think you can leave home at home and work at work, but that is not healthy and cannot be achieved successfully. The domains of your life include career, physical health, mental health, spiritual life, social, relationships, personal, immediate family, extended family, financial, civic, and “other.” The list is not exhaustive, but it covers a wide range of our life domains. And if there’s something particularly special to you that’s not covered, we have the catchall domain of “other.” Using these domains, take the time to individually assess your level of satisfaction in these areas. Whether you use a scale of one to ten, one to five, or one to one hundred is totally up to you, but consistently use the same scale for all the domains you assess. If the domain is not important or not applicable to you, skip it. This is your life. After you have given yourself a score, explain why you gave yourself that score. And if the domain is truly important, and you have not achieved the score that you want, what would it take to reach a more acceptable score?

Pick. Pick one to three of the most important (for this season of your life) domains that you would like to improve on. Here’s the deal: If you try to tackle everything, you will achieve nothing. So, start smart and small with the fewest items that will have the most impact on your life. You might find that although you thought the source of the unease in your life was the stress of your job or law practice, it is, in fact, some other life domain. Once you have chosen these domains, they will become the priority for your life improvement efforts. Your answers to the “scoring” questions provide the framework for what it will take to achieve improvement. In picking the one to three domains, the tasks or tactics to go about the process of improvement can be distilled from your “scoring” answers. These tasks should be a priority in your life improvement plan.

Prune. Prune those people, places, and things that are dead branches to you and your improvement plan. We all can benefit from some pruning. We might be reticent to think of pruning people, but there are certain things (too much web surfing, too much Facebook time, too many inane YouTube videos) that you can prune from your life. If it is inconsistent with what you want to achieve or wasting valuable time—clip it! It is time for it to go.

Plant. Plant the seeds of your future success in those domains. When planting these domain seeds, you will need to nurture, water, and fertilize them if you expect a harvest. You will do this by giving time to these domains. You must set aside time to work on and in these domains. You must also nurture each seed by acquiring any skills needed to improve this domain or invest in resources to improve this domain (e.g., maybe counseling if you need to work on a personal relationship).

Finally, your efforts are intended to produce a harvest. That harvest should be your “purpose” for this season of your life. Purpose or meaning is critical as you navigate the new normal filled with change and uncertainty. Purpose serves as the anchor that grounds you to something bigger than your day-to-day existence, your daily tasks, your checkoff list. Purpose is the big-picture reasons for existing in general and the inspiration that helps us get through the rough patches. It means the pursuit of a meaningful life. It doesn’t mean life will be perfect—it won’t. It doesn’t mean you will only have days of joy—there will be sad ones. And it doesn’t mean that you won’t second-guess yourself as not deserving of this life—you might.

But it does mean waking up every morning inspired and motivated to live the life that is uniquely set forth for you, being proactive and not reactionary to things around us that we cannot control, and staying affirmatively committed to managing those things we can control. The new normal may exist for some time to come. Now is the time for you to plant so that you may reap a harvest in seasons to come.

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Cedric Ashley

Ashley Law Firm

Cedric Ashley, Esq., is a sole practitioner in Princeton, New Jersey, concentrating in business, employment, and criminal litigation. Cedric is the Editor-in-Chief of GPSolo magazine and an elected member of the ABA GPSolo Division’s General Council for the 2017–2021 term. In the New Jersey State Bar Association, Cedric has served as Co-Chair of the Diversity Committee and the Law Office Management Committee.