Start off on the Right Foot. Establish a cordial relationship at the first opportunity. Greet the attorney with a handshake and a smile. Perhaps a gruff demeanor is hiding a genuinely cordial person.
Try to Be Cooperative. Create an accommodating tone at the beginning of your dealings with the other attorney. If you set that tone, you may see a measure of reciprocal, even pleasant behavior. Setting a polite tone may help you find common ground with the attorney in resolving a problem, even if your relationship is otherwise stormy or confrontational.
Be Calm and Stay Calm. If you deal with an abusive opposing counsel, it will be tempting to "fight fire with fire" by raising your voice, acting rude, and obstructing the progress of the case. You must resist the temptation to mimic bad behavior. You can — and should — resist efforts by that attorney to "bully" either you or a colleague. Remain professional and do not let that attorney aggravate you. Take a deep breath and think before you reply to a verbal harangue or an insulting email.
Make A Record of the Unprofessional Behavior. It may be wise to ignore some bad behavior. At some point, however, the other attorney may cross the line and interfere with your legitimate efforts to investigate the facts or conduct discovery. When that happens, you must create a record of that conduct, by keeping correspondence or emails, particularly if the matter must be raised before a judge or mediator. In the case of a deposition, be sure that the court reporter transcribes such conduct — including non-verbal behaviors like finger-pointing.
Take Time to Reflect About the Problem. If you are encountering a difficult opposing counsel, engage in introspection. Review your behavior to make sure you have not done anything to precipitate the nasty behavior. If you think you may have, apologize. Maintain a steady and patient approach when you encounter hostility. Your perseverance may result in the attorney ceasing the bad behavior when he sees that his tactic yields no results.
Address the Problem Sooner, Not Later. If the problem persists, take action before the situation gets worse. Do not pass the issue to someone else in your office. Instead, a frank exchange between you and the opposing counsel may be needed.
Remember the Big Picture. Last, but certainly not least, do not let the difficult opposing counsel distract or detour you from your objectives. Stay focused on what you seek to achieve. Remind yourself not to take the behavior personally. Remember that you have handled many difficult situations, and people, before.
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