What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There
You probably will get promoted, as most women do, because you are good at what you do. What you do usually involves tasks that demonstrate skills mastery in producing reliable deliverables and quality services. Leadership, however, focuses more on relationships, and your value as a leader comes more from the number and quality of relationships you have and foster than from the tasks you personally successfully complete. Leadership is about influence, and your leadership value is determined by your ability to inspire and move others to be responsible and carry out the tasks that need to be done.
Get Women to Support You Like They Do the Men
How is it that men get to golf, have extended lunches, visit the watering hole after work, and appear so relaxed during the workday? Men are evaluated for leadership by who they know; you, in contrast, probably have been evaluated by what you have done. Consequently, men continue to develop relationships when taking leadership roles, but you cannot continue to focus on your work product alone.
I expect, like many women, you tend to be more collaborative and inclusive in your work style to get tasks done. Men leverage this and are more bottom line. They learn early on to direct and oversee the worker bees rather than be a worker bee. Generally speaking, and from my observation, men will use their first days on the job to find out who will run the copy machine for them, give them supplies, answer substantive and procedural questions related to their responsibilities—i.e., men will identify their worker bees.
On the other hand, if you are like most women, you probably want to appear competent and self-sufficient—and have tended to use your first days on a job and afterward becoming an excellent worker bee. In defense of you and women like you, this is not faulty thinking. You have probably done this because of bias and how women are generally expected to perform. For example, support staff, who are mostly women, are accustomed and conditioned to support men. They are used to men taking charge and being assertive. If you, as a woman, however, come in and immediately start leading by taking charge and being assertive, you’ll run the risk of not being liked and getting less support than your male counterparts. Thus, as a woman leader, you must employ the traditional female leadership traits of collaboration, empathy, and listening to get the support staff to warm up to you as a leader of the team and not as a fellow worker bee.
Learn to Fill Up the Room
The more you move up the leadership chain, the more others want to hear from you and know what you are thinking. In meetings, you may be less willing to speak up and share than men, even when you are more knowledgeable. You must engage and inform so that your audience will have confidence in your ability to lead. This is the case even when you don’t think you have anything to share. Make a point to learn how to sound like you are saying something when you are saying nothing of importance. You must fill the room with your importance. Otherwise, you risk losing territory.
Don’t Take Too Long to Be Decisive
In most cases, it is neither detrimental nor fatal if you don’t make the right decision. Perfection is not expected, but a decision is. Do your research, get the facts, and decide. Similarly, it’s okay to change your mind; just be decisive about it.
The Power Shifted—and No One Told You
When moving into positions of power, you risk having the power shift away from your position. Often it is subtle. The power may follow and stay with the relationships of the men who previously occupied the position. Knowledge is power, and those in the know retain rather than share the knowledge. If you know the right questions to ask of your predecessors and others in the know, you may get the right answers to help you thrive. If you don’t know the right questions to ask, those in the know may volunteer no assistance. This is where mentors, sponsors, confidants, and advisory boards can help you know the right questions and answers, discern the unwritten rules in operation, locate the guideposts for your professional journey, and help you develop those crucial, power relationships for your position and beyond.
Don’t Take It Personally; It’s Not About You
It can be lonely at the top. You may have to make difficult decisions that affect the quality of work-life and the livelihood of those with whom you work. People will come against you as they perceive your standing in the way of their personal agendas. Just take note that they are coming against the real or perceived power you possess in the position you hold. Breathe, and keep moving; really, it’s not about you.