Separating Families: The Hidden Collateral Damage of Incarcerating Mothers

If you ask the dedicated team of pro bono lawyers working with Volunteers of Legal Service (VOLS) Incarcerated Mothers Law Project about the top priority for incarcerated mothers in New York state, they will tell you without hesitation—it’s the kids. Each month, our team meets with mothers and parents in the state’s three federal women’s prisons and at Rikers Island in New York City. VOLS works with individuals of all gender identities, but for the sake of brevity, we use the term ‘mother.’ Every mother is wholly focused on reconnecting with her children and ensuring her children’s well-being while she is incarcerated. Yet, the separation of families and the unnecessary estrangement of mothers from their children is rarely discussed outside social worker and legal service provider circles working with this population. 

The disruption of families is an enduring and multi-generational consequence of lengthy sentences and poor prison conditions for women. Reducing isolation for mothers—from society, from their children, and from their legal rights—by increasing access to free family law services is a huge first step to preventing unnecessary alienation and separation. 

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, as of 2020, there were about 2.1 million people incarcerated in the United States. Of these, approximately 1.1 million were parents, with more than half of them reporting that they had children under age 18. Incarceration of a parent is considered an Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE), and as discussed in several recent studies published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, children with incarcerated parents are exposed to nearly five times as many ACEs as their peers. According to the Centers for Disease Control, ACEs are linked to a range of traumatic and costly issues in both childhood and adulthood, including dropping out of school, underemployment and unemployment, chronic health problems, mental illness, and substance use. Yet, this collateral consequence of incarceration, namely the destabilization it causes for mothers and children, goes mostly unaddressed.

Collateral Damage: Legal Strangers

According to a 2024 report from the Sentencing Project, approximately 60 percent of women incarcerated in state prisons are mothers. Yet, incarcerated mothers like VOLS clients report having no access to family law attorneys. State-appointed criminal defense lawyers are typically not available or qualified to provide advice on family law issues. VOLS lawyers meet at Rikers Island, for example, with incarcerated mothers in pretrial detention. Yet, even without a conviction or extended incarceration period, the mothers have significant obstacles advocating for and enforcing legally permitted visitation, telephone calls, and letters. Most report limited or no contact with their children. Without proper family legal support, an incarcerated mother can lose all access and rights to her children, permanently, in as little as 15 months, rendering parent and child legal strangers to one another. 

The impact is racially disproportionate. For incarcerated Black and Brown mothers, maintaining connections with their children and retaining their parental rights are far more difficult due to systemic racism in both the criminal justice and child welfare systems. Racial bias in legal proceedings, compounded by economic inequities and cultural barriers, makes it harder for these mothers to navigate the complex systems that govern family separation and reunification. These compounded challenges exacerbate the already significant difficulties incarcerated mothers face, further entrenching racial disparities and perpetuating cycles of trauma and disadvantage across generations. Addressing these racial inequities requires comprehensive reforms that acknowledge the unique needs of Black and Brown incarcerated mothers and provide the support necessary for family preservation and reunification.

Isolation by Design

Incarcerated parents in the United States face immense isolation. This is due not only to physical confinement but also to the systemic challenges they face in maintaining relationships with their children—even when legally entitled to contact. The isolation is more pronounced for mothers than for fathers; the systems designed to support incarcerated individuals tend to be less responsive to the specific needs of women and even less so for mothers.

According to the Prison Policy Initiative (PPI), incarcerated women are less likely to receive visits from family members compared to men, particularly in facilities where family visiting rooms and times are restrictive or poorly designed. Incarcerated women are often housed in prisons located far away from their families; over 70 percent are incarcerated more than 100 miles from their homes, according to the National Institute of Corrections. The distance makes it significantly harder for children to visit their mothers, a critical aspect of maintaining familial bonds. Due to advocacy efforts, New York State has a Proximity Law that requires the Department of Corrections to place incarcerated parents in a facility as close to their minor children as possible “whenever practicable.” However, because there are only three women’s prisons in the state, incarcerated mothers are often placed hundreds of miles from their children, even when they are in the closest possible facility. 

For many mothers, the emotional pain of being physically separated from their children is compounded by feelings of guilt and shame, which can hinder their rehabilitation and reintegration. The American Journal of Public Health reports that incarcerated women are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and trauma, largely because of the rupture in their familial relationships. The loss of the maternal role and the inability to care for their children while incarcerated leads many mothers to experience a deep sense of alienation from their own families and communities. This compounds the fact that approximately 80 percent of incarcerated women have experienced some form of trauma, with many having suffered multiple, complex types of abuse. Yet, generally, correctional facilities lack the necessary infrastructure and social programs to effectively address the needs of traumatized individuals and those dealing with mental health challenges.

Frayed Relationships

The barriers to communication for incarcerated mothers—such as high phone call costs, limited visiting hours, and the physical distance between mothers and children—often make it incredibly difficult to sustain any meaningful contact with their children. Though research suggests that maintaining contact is beneficial for both mother and child, more than 60 percent of incarcerated mothers report that they are unable to communicate regularly with their children. This lack of communication can contribute to a sense of abandonment, causing children to feel disconnected from their mothers. This creates further isolation as communication and connection become prohibitively expensive.

Ongoing separation of mothers from their children can, and often does, result in children forced to enter the foster care system. The PPI reports that more than 40 percent of children with incarcerated mothers are placed into foster care, while fewer children of incarcerated fathers experience similar outcomes. Entering the foster care system creates a profound rupture in any family unit; many children end up in unstable, unfamiliar, and abusive environments, exacerbating feelings of abandonment and loss.

As extensively researched and documented, the Adoption and Safe Families Act has had devastating effects on countless families. This federal law mandates, with very few exceptions, the termination of parental rights when children have been in foster care for 15 out of the previous 22 months. Incarcerated mothers, in particular, face a severe risk of losing their parental rights because of this law. The obstacles they encounter in attempting to retain their parental rights are overwhelming, given the numerous barriers created by child protective services, the legal system, and the prison system. Unfortunately, we encounter far too many mothers who have already lost their rights and are asking how they can get them back. 

For mothers fortunate enough to retain their parental rights throughout their incarceration, they face significant challenges in regaining custody after their release due to legal barriers and a lack of systemic prioritization and support for reunification. The challenges of re-entry are immense; incarcerated mothers face additional barriers when reintegrating into society. The stigma around their incarceration and the difficulty of reestablishing relationships with their children and families can significantly hinder successful reentry. Programs that address the specific needs of mothers in prison—such as parenting classes, family counseling, and support for housing—are scarce.

Public Policy: Recidivism

Research suggests that parents who maintain strong connections with their children are less likely to re-offend and may experience better outcomes during their reentry into society. The bonds between parents and children can serve as a powerful motivator for change and rehabilitation, reducing the likelihood of recidivism. The emotional support, motivation, and social connections that come from stronger relationships help foster a sense of responsibility and stability, which can deter future unlawful or destructive behavior. Thus, strengthening family relationships is beneficial not only for the incarcerated parent but also for the well-being of their children and the broader community.

Conclusion: Access First

The devastating emotional toll of family separation is often invisible in the broader conversations about mass incarceration. Although children of incarcerated parents are at a heightened risk for increased vulnerability to the criminal justice system, mental health issues, and academic challenges, this generational cycle of trauma is rarely addressed in policies surrounding incarceration or reentry. VOLS Incarcerated Mothers Law Project understands that family separation is one of the most damaging aspects of mass incarceration. 

The system must acknowledge that mothers are often the primary caregivers in their children’s lives. It must also provide sufficient support for maintaining family relationships, resources for parental rehabilitation, and concrete strategies for addressing the long-term consequences of family disruption caused by incarceration. One way to do so is to increase mothers’ access to high-quality, free family law attorneys who can provide trauma-informed support to mothers to help them understand and enforce their rights to their children, plan for reunification, and help keep their families together and intact. We welcome your support.