From that day on, I knew I didn’t want that to be my life. I didn’t want that struggle. So I went to law school. But I went so that, if it all went wrong, I’d always have a trade to ply. Lawyering was my “Plan B.” Was that the best reason to go to law school? No. But I don’t regret it. My legal training has been and is critical to my career. I write fiction and nonfiction. In both disciplines, research is everything. Without the research skills I learned in law school, my fiction work would lack believability. I couldn’t write nonfiction if I didn’t research my subjects thoroughly.
As a writer, my job is much like a trial lawyer. I research and tell a story. A trial lawyer does the same. She tells her story to the jury in hopes of captivating and persuading them. I tell my story, hoping for the same from my readers. If the lawyer is successful, the jury finds in her client’s favor. When I’m successful, I persuade readers to invest their time in my book. Without well-researched facts woven into a compelling, understandable narrative, neither of us could succeed. Period.
In the end, law school gave me the skills to do what I love (plus, think of all the free legal advice I got). But what law school didn’t teach me, and I wish I had known, is that sometimes we all just need to shut up. Law school teaches you to advocate, persuade, and counter your opponent’s arguments. This training complemented the communication style I learned growing up. In my household (especially if there was food on the table), not talking was a sign of foolishness and weakness. Law school helped me hone those arguing skills. But not the listening ones.
I realize now that listening is one of the great superpowers. Take a try. Just listen sometimes. Instead of preparing to respond to your opponent’s best argument, listen to what they’re saying. You’ll hear their needs, concerns, fears, and wants. You’ll better understand your opponent. This alone may lead to a meaningful discussion. And if you can get to that point, you’re a lot closer to a satisfying result than you would ever be by just waiting for your turn to respond. Trust me. Just listen. Such a simple lesson. And one of the most vital.